Jim Caldwell Leads Monday Ramblin’s…

Would Jim Caldwell fake an orgasm to get out of finishing coitus? If he managed baseball would he remove the pitcher after 21 straight outs? Would he like to buy a Rams season ticket and find out just how precious a win really is in the NFL? Let’s hope Berman gets to the bottom of this tonight on Monday Night Countdown…

Who had a worse holiday than the Hanes marketing VP? As soon as you green light big ad spends on NFL football, college bowls and every other holiday fare the networks were putting up- your spokesman goes and beats the holy hell out of his wife and allegedly threatens to carve, not the Christmas turkey, but her heart out of her chest with a cleaver. Nothing like domestic violence to demonstrate just how non-stretch your collars are…

After writing about Matt Holliday for months, it’s hard to wish people a Happy Holiday without adding in that extra L…

 

If you need to replenish you coffers after the Christmas gift spree, make a bet on the Rams this weekend against Seattle. This team is full of so many losers that when they need to lose just to secure the #1 draft pick, they’ll win and fuck that up too. They lose at losing…

Nothing says love during the holidays like getting a gift card to a place you never have gone to before and probably won’t go to now- even after getting free money…

Maybe Tim Tebow will be awesome in the NFL. Maybe he’ll be the next Tommy Fraizer. I have no idea. But when the mere thought of losing Jesus’ son causes a middle-aged man to chuck away a 5 million dollar a year job at the peak of his powers- what does that mean? If we met and I looked directly in his eyes, would I be under a spell?…

Movie Snot: Bruno. Valliant effort at repeating the success of Borat: just wasn’t as good. Much more scripted (Yes, Medium the TV show got a nice plug and knew what they were getting into…) and uneven. The Ron Paul prank was funny. The Focus group on the fake TV show was very funny. Telling a terrorist that his mentor looked like a dirty wizard was extremely funny. And the cage mach in Arkansas was certifiably insane. But the montage with Bono, Elton John, Coldplay and Sting at the end let us know that Sasha Cohen has become too famous to pull of this flick again. In many interviews, like THIS ONE on NPR where he isn’t in character, you can tell he’s no Jamie Kennedy. This guy will be back with something great again. It just wasn’t Bruno…

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