During our nine days of Crapmas, we’ve covered gifts for your friends (Mac Wire 23kt gold baseball card), your enemies (Jeff Brantley jersey), the special lady in your life (Jeff Brantley jersey…or a Memphis Redbirds Championship ring if you’re really whipped), gramps (Frankie Frisch game worn pants baseball card), and even the little slugger of the family (Milt Thompson hitting DVD).
But we haven’t covered mom.
Yes, you still have to give mom a Christmas present. Luckily, I found the perfect gift.
There’s no smooth transition here…It’s never too early to think about garden decorations. And what mom wouldn’t want a swell Cardinal Garden Gnome protecting those tomatoes and bell peppers next summer?
Yup, Garden Gnome. You know I’m a sweetheart. Check it out:
Hopefully your mom is 87 years old. Really, nothing says Crapmas gift like a fake rock with Cardinal logos glued on, and a little gnome popping out (he could pass for Santa Claus too, right?).
Your mom could do a lot better with a $22.95 gift card to Wal-Mart or Starbucks, but nothing really captures how much of an inconsiderate bastard you are quite like a Cardinal garden gnome in a rock. If she’s a bargain shopper, at least she’ll appreciate the free shipping you got from eBay.
Even more upside: you might be dis-invited from family holidays. On second thought, gimme a second.
Oops, the item is no longer available. Anyone have any wrapping paper?
Be sure to catch up with all previous days of Crapmas – just click on the Archives and/or Older Entries tabs.
To view the eighth day of Crapmas, click here.