Aziz Ansari Leads Monday Ramblin’s…

Aziz Ansari is a funny guy. He’s kind of got a stilted delivery that is vagrance, if just a little, of the late great Mitch Headberg. But you wouldn’t have known it if you watched the MTV Movie Awards last night. His material was the comedic equivalent to a soft, steaming dog pile. I literally had to change the channel in the midst of his R. Kelly tribute AND his Avatar riff, both following a very tepid open.  Many may question if the ‘stage’ was too big for Aziz, but I don’t. I question the writers that were doing their best to turn Aziz into the Muslim Jay Lenno. Cut budget on video screens for every square inch of the stage and beyond, not on write staff…

You ever get the feeling that David Freese is snake bit? That things were going juuuuust a bit too good for him, so the Baseball Gods sent down a fluke rolled ankle? And before you comment that getting loaded and driving a vehicle around isn’t ‘bad luck’- well, you’re right. So maybe this is karmatic payback; is that what you’re saying? Perhaps…

Friday night I went to this birthday party. The people that were hosting were in their 50’s and never had a kid. You know what else they had? A lighted washer pit. I sick ass pool. An outdoor and indoor bar. Huge TV’s everywhere. A pool table in the middle of their living room. Cuban cigars…

A hypothetical: Albert Pujols’ games are picked up by FOX all summer long every Cardinal game is available to the entire nation. What does his stat line look like? .500/115/275? The guy doesn’t ever not deliver on the big stage. He’s got more sense of the ‘moment’ than any other athlete in any sport…

Movie Snot: I came home buzzed on Saturday night and got on the Video OnDemand. Found ‘Land of the Lost’ and got about 25 minutes into it before turning off the TV and going to bed. One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Again, I was pretty drunk. I was going to be entertained by just about anything that was on that screen. Yet I couldn’t take one more minute of that movie. Just a terrible, terrible idea for everyone involved…

Will Ferrell. The Trevor Hoffman of cinema? He’s definitely lost command of the change-up …

Ryan Ludwick physically looks like he’s a terrible RF. But watching the dude every day, and it’s pretty apparent that he could be in the running for a Gold Glove in 2010. The guy seems to make a difficult catch every single game. Surprisingly good D from Ludwick…

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