We love you guys, but let’s talk turkey- you’re pretty annoying. In the grand scheme of things, we’d all probably rather be filthy rich and not writing on this site than borderline impoverished and typing away.
But Hooks, you suck at everything… how are you going to get rich?
Good question. I’ve thought long and hard about it too. And I think I finally figured out how to get out of this albatross once and for all…
Ahh, but Hooks, you’re about as lucky as short options trader on awesome!
Right. I know this. That’s why I’ve invested in a World Series of Poker entrant on behalf of the site.
Hold on a second, bub, isn’t that like, a ton of money?
You’re damn right it is. This annual series of card tournaments culminates with a ‘Main Event’ every July in Las Vegas. The estimated winners take for 2010 is around 7 million dollars. It costs 10,000 dollars just to sit your ass down and get in the game.
So you’re telling me that you’ve spent multiple thousands of dollars to help some poor shlub get his ass kicked in poker on your behalf?
Hmmm. No. Not exactly.
Here’s the deal. The guy in that picture? He’s Matt Viox. He’s buddies with Pat Parris. He owns his own business. And for whatever reason, he’s pretty good at poker. In fact, this won’t be the first time he’s played in the Main Event. (You may have remembered his run we covered here on the CD last summer).
Well, he’s (probably) going to qualify though an on-line tournament. This tourney is our best option of circumventing the huge buy-in. He won one of these last year, so we’re feeling pretty good about this year. And since we’re picking up part of his entry fee into this lesser tournament, then we’re going to be entitled to a slice of his winnings in the Main Event.
Game over, CD. Game the fuck over.
We’ll update you intermittently on the demise of your four hundred fifth favorite Cardinals oriented site as needed. But I want you to know that the end is nigh.
You’re not going to have Hooks to kick around ANYMORE!