Ice Is The Devil’s Sprinkle

When one of the tongs on your ice scrapper breaks off? RAGE! 

First off, you don’t want to be up. You knew it was going to be but-ass freezing outside, but because you’re a responsible adult, you get up.

It’s cold outside of your bed. Real cold. And you wonder just how in the hell your heating bill is so massive every month. Those son of a bitch Ameren fat cats probably sleep in shallow hot tubs filled with molten diamonds.

And while you put on that uncomfortable business apparel that was designed by some fruit loop in the 1800’s and manufactured by Itch Incorporated, all you’re really hoping for is that nothing has iced over on your windshield overnight.

You know it’s going to be cold. You know you’ve got to take little baby steps to your car because your walk hasn’t been shoveled. You know you’re already 10 minutes late.

Fuck.

Ice.

So you jerk your half re-frozen door open, start up your freezing cold engine block, grab your cheap POS scraper from the trunk and go to work.

Then… snap.

A tong breaks off. Every motion is an exercise in pure futility. The same coverage you got mere seconds ago per scrape is totally negated by that missing tong. Streaks abound. Another expense incurred. Just go ahead and sit in that freezing car, wait for the defrost and accept the fact that you’re late again. Wash, lather, repeat.

Winter? Go away.

Now the Friday Links…

  • Looks like we’ve got some real, live parenting going on at ebay. LINK HERE
  • 25 Epic Win photos. LINK HERE
  • The 12 most obnoxious guys at every Super Bowl party. LINK HERE
  • Hipster or Jesus… the Tumblr. LINK HERE
  • The top 100 Super Bowl commericals of all time. LINK HERE
  • Some prop bets to consider for the Super Bowl. LINK HERE
  • Scumbag Steve memes all rolled up into one spot. LINK HERE
  • Tom Hanks is alot of animals?… The Tumblr. LINK HERE

And just so we have it in print, I think it’s time for a Super Bowl prediction that absolutly no one will care about. Packers 24 Steelers 17. I was leaning Steelers up unitl yesterday when I heard this…. LINK HERE

athooks

About athooks

For more, follow on Twitter. Just click the link below.

Quantcast