We here at the Diaspora are always trying to find out the pulse of the people. Trying to see what’s buzzing around town.
And today is no different – today we want to know who (or what) is to blame for the Cardinals’ awful 2010 season. The easy way out is to pick five or ten different contributing factors, but we want one fucking answer. One answer St. Louis! No BS, no holding back.
We hiked up our pants and stopped by Delmar Gardens for a little Man on the Street, to see what the movers and shakers there have to say about the Redbirds. After all, the Delmar Gardens residents represent the past, present and future of St. Louis. Let’s see what they said:
Agnes Murblepester – Lopez has tattoos all over the place.
HMW: Lots of ballplayers have tattoos. Chris Carpenter has at least one, and I think a couple more. He’s pretty good.
Agnes: Well if that Lopez concentrated on hittin’ the ball instead of killing people and going to the tattoo parlor, we’d be a lot better. I like when Aaron Miles plays instead.
HMW: (delivers roundhouse kick to Agnes)
Harold F. Anger – They don’t have the games on the damn radio anymore!
Harold: A few years ago they took them off the air. But I read not too long ago that they’ll be back next year. Mr. Shannon and Mr. Hagin really get along with each other.
HMW: Have you ever tried tuning into 550, possibly right around 7 o’clock every night?
Virginia Stumpflipper – The Media is being too negative. They should cheer on the Cardinals like real fans.
HMW: Oh, I definitely agree…
Virginia: They’re always talking bad about our Cardinals. It’s really hurting their play.
HMW: Yeah, you’re right! What the heck is going on?
Virginia: That Frank Cusumano is sometimes tough, but always fair. I don’t have a problem with him. He seems like a nice young lad. Not that Mike Bush though. Did you know he’s had two nose jobs? And my daughter’s friend said that he was at the Galleria, and she said hi, but he ignored her. Who does he think he is? Dick Ford?
HMW: Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Blanche Wigperm – Albert Pullos always wears a black undershirt.
HMW: Who? What?
Blanche: He should wear the same undershirt as the rest of the team. And he never runs to first base.
HMW: You only give your grandkids four bucks for their birthdays, don’t you?
Walter Whitehonkey- That Smash Band never made a team song! He could have given the city another fun song to listen to.
HMW: Whoa, I think we may have something here.
Walter: He made that Go To Work song about the Rams. I still have my cassette.
HMW: Yes, the Smash Band should be blamed. And Murphy Lee, he didn’t make a song either. What the hell, St. Louis artists? Do the bloggers have to do everything around here?
Ethel Brownnoise- John Mozeliak.
HMW: Also a strong answer, go on.
Ethel: He just has no personality. I guess some of his trades have been good, but he’s just boring when I see him talking to Frank Cusumano on the TV.
HMW: Really? And Walt Jocketty was a ball of energy? Do you want Mozeliak to be more personable and witty because you know you could kick over at any minute?
Ethel: (“Falls Asleep”)
HMW: (Tiptoes out of Room)