Claiming that the pioneering spirit of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and their ‘Thunder Sticks’, Cardinals Chairman Bill DeWitt announced Sunday that his team would be the first to introduce the Vuvuzela to American sporting audiences.
Widely criticized by players and soccer traditionalists alike, the plastic horns have become the hottest topic at the 2010 FIFA World Cup currently taking place in South Africa.
“We understand that the Vuvuzela doesn’t have the popularity of a magnetic schedule or hastily designed Ice Mountain poster… but there was a day that the MLB didn’t have Dominican’s either and that’s worked out for the Cardinals” DeWitt said before taking a deep pull off his custom Cardinal Vuvuzela.
He added “Besides- we’re the fucking Cardinals. You’ll blow when we tell you to.”
Sandy Jennings, spokesperson for the St. Louis based Institute for the Blind and Deaf immediately decried the announcement in a written statement on their website: “The St. Louis Cardinals are leaders in our community. They need to set a better example. Dan and Al are more than enough to take.”
Meanwhile US Local 133 of the plastics council, pledged to support the Vuvuzlea night, claiming that he expects more than 10 new jobs to open up when the order for the plastic pipes is placed this coming month.
Local Chief Russ Bradley added “This could be the move that finally gets Ballpark Village going, right?”
Dewitt took few questions from reporters, but did make it clear that Vuvuzlea night was being planned for the August series against the Cubs.