The Brandon Phillips Failure Pic Spectacular

Yesterday was a great day to be a Cardinals fan, huh? It was even better being a Cardinals fan who enjoys talking shit on the organization last known for being the 1995 NL Central champs. And that’s where the great Fake Mike Shannon comes into play.  One of the next two paragraphs will apply to you:

1) Oh, you still don’t have a Twitter account, do you? Good thing we’re here to show you how this internet dealy works. Basically, the Fake Mike Shannon Twitter account is run by someone who posts tweets as if he were our hero, the real Mike Shannon – whether it be the infamous Shannonisms (“Bob Gibson is in town Wheww! He would throw one at the Pope on Sunday if he was hogging the plate, heh heh heh”), ice cold frosty Busch, or constant jabs at the Cubs’ mediocrity. Easily one of the best Twitter accounts to follow. If you ever sign up. Ever.

2) I agree with you. Fake Mike is wonderful. Let’s get to the point.

Yesterday, Fake Mike decided to supply us with some fun Brandon Phillips pictures throughout the day. I’m sure it was hard, seeing how Phillips was lighting up the scoreboard left and right with doubles, bombs and RBIs galore. For those of you who missed it, we decided to gather all the FAIL pics into one neat little post here before shifting the focus onto the Cubbies.

If you happen to make motivational posters or photoshop any of these, send them in. We always like letting other people do the work for us:

Let’s go Redbirds! In case you’ve been in a cave the past 2 nights, here’s a series recap, heh heh heh:


I gotta tip my cap to this Phillips kid for speaking his mind. He never complains about anything, heh heh heh.


Phillips is quicker than John Rooney to the pre-game media buffet line, heh heh heh: (Editor’s note – is that Eckstein? I think so! Good job B-Flips.)


Phillips is quicker than a cat in Chinatown, heh heh heh: (Ed. note #2 – I didn’t think it could get any worse than being tagged out a mile in front of the base by little Davey Eckstein. I stand corrected.)


One other thing I like about Phillips – he’s always got his eye on the ball, heh heh heh:


Arroyo plays guitar, Phillips makes bats levitate – I’m tellin ya this is a talented ballclub folks, heh heh heh:


I figured with a name like Arroyo, I could ask him where to get some good Mexican food around here. He said Taco Bell. heh heh heh. (No pic involved, this one’s just funny)

Cardinal bats told Mr. Phillips to sit down and shut up. Guess he listens well. heh heh heh:


(And this was how Fake Mike summed up the day…) There’s a lot of bitching & moaning in the Cards’ clubhouse. They wish there was a 4th game so they could beat the Reds again, heh heh heh.

Heh heh heh, indeed. Thank you Fake Mike for making un-productivity at work a lot easier.


UPDATE: Now with a Poll! Tell us your favorite. (Er, things you don’t think about at 1am)