The Half-Assed Warshington Recap of Greatness

I’m gone for a few days and all of a sudden Randy Winn pops up in the lineup? I like the days of the random Larry Walker trades that meant something (ahem, wins). Hitting the ON switch would be good, fellas. Any day now…

As for the “gone for a few days” part, you might have read a little preview about my excursion to our nation’s capital. I just got back into town yesterday, and I could really use another day off. I quickly learned that Washington DC is a real city, and overall, kicks a lot of ass. I didn’t really know it was possible to get around to fun places without a car; crazy, huh?

The downside was that we walked a good ten miles on Monday. Even with hopping around the city via the Metro subway, it was a crazy amount of walking. And because I’m a little tired and trying to catch up with my neglected DVR, I’m going to half-ass this recap. I know you don’t really mind, you all read this site for Hooks’ whole-assed articles anyway…wait, that came out wrong. I think you know what I mean.

Let’s start with the Reds/Nationals battle Sunday. When he was warming up in the ‘pen, I was within attack range of Sir Douchington himself:


Jack Bauer kept yelling at me to “TAKE THE SHOT,” but I couldn’t do it. The Reds won 5-4 in extras. It was weird to see nearly all 30 teams represented by the variety of shirts/hats/etc, worn by fans throughout the park. If you saw someone wearing Braves gear to a Phillies/Cards game, at least ten people would ask what the fuck they’re doing.

Walking around Nationals Park afterwards, they’ve got their own BPV in development. It’s a dirt lot right now, but sounds really cool and trendy since it’s called Half Street. Be on the lookout. It’ll be ready in 2009, so call your local travel agent now.


The few of you who know me know I have an affinity for young boys who play baseball. So you’d think I’d be first in line for the StrasburgMania/Strasmus/Strastivus Festival on Tuesday night. It took a lot of restraint, but sadly I was not in attendance. I was in store for something good though, as you’ll see below.

Monday was the big tourist-y day. Saw pretty much all aspects of the Smithsonian during the day, then a night tour of the Memorials. I’m pretty sure Wilson Wilson was our tour guide, so it was interesting to say the least.

Then Tuesday night was the highlight of the trip, and sadly (or awesomely, depending on how cool you are) the main reason for heading to DC – seeing Conan O’Brien on his “Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour.” There’s nothing I can possibly say that stresses how good the show was, but if you have any way humanly possible to see him at Bonnaroo or his last stop in Atlanta – do it. Right now. Seriously. It was excellent, and easily worth the entire trip out there.

It also helps when you stick around to snag autographs of him and Andy Richter after the show:

Even though this isn’t Twitter, I’ll drop the #celebritywhore tag on you right now. Boom. Just happened.

A trip back to DC will definitely be in the works at some point in the future. Great time, start to finish.

-One other note: props to Mr. Wilkins and Ms. @jhadleyconrad for the food recs. I appreciate it. Neither one of them would steer you wrong, folks.

-And one final Cardinal note, thrown in for no reason: if you thought you were a badass fantasy player…I’ve owned Zack Cox since my draft in March. Winner.

-Come to think of it, I didn’t really half-ass this at all. It’s one of the longest and greatest Diaspora articles this month.

-Next on the roadtrip agenda is The College World Series in a couple weeks. I haven’t informed them yet, but the guys I’m going with and I are planning on doing some video work while up in Omaha. Seeing how one of them took a full gallery of “jailbait” photos a couple years ago, nothing could possibly go wrong with the video idea, right?