What MLB SHOULD Be Meeting About

The MLB Winter Meetings are transpiring in Orlando right now. 

Mmmm. Smell the bureaucracy now. I bet uncle Bud is spinning yarns about the olden days where players were paid 10 thousand dollars a year… and LOVED it.

Truth be told, I have no idea what happens in these ‘meetings’. In fact, an Uncle Bud story hour is no more or less plausible than what MLB is actually doing down there. Hell, would anyone be surprised if this was just a ruse to get Hank and Hal Steinbrenner on the Tea Cups for the NY Post to have in their back pocket in case Cliff Lee turns into the next A.J. Burnett?

So perhaps they’re having the following meetings already, but if not…

  • The “why the hell is the World Series played in November again” meeting.
  • The “in the age of Skype, why exactly are cash strapped teams taking crews of people down to Florida when they could do everything they wanted to do for free over the internet” meeting.
  • The “thank God Albert Haynesworth plays in the NFL” meeting.
  • The “when can we get the juice back in the game because, quite frankly, it was a lot more fun seeing 700 foot cockshots every game” meeting.
  • The “seriously, they fired Joe Morgan, this isn’t a joke, this is real life” meeting.
  • The “over under on the date Stephen Strasburg tears something in 2011 and the Greg Oden jokes start getting made on sports talk radio” meeting.
  • The “critical analysis of the ‘Undercover Boss’ episode that featured a mile and half of fail from the Chicago Cubs” meeting.
  • The “come the F on Washington, do you really think that Jayson Werth is going to get a single butt in a seat slash where are we moving this franchise next” meeting.

I suppose we could go on.

But if we stuck to these, I think it’d be a much more productive way to spend owners and GM’s time over the cold, hard winter months.

Just a suggestion.

athooks

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