America Sort Of Sucks

Not hard, or anything. 

But some of the shenanigans that go on down in rural Mexico would literally blow up a lawyers mind. A throwback to a time I never got to experience where pretty much anything goes.

For instance, one night we went to a carnival. Only the carnival had 3 games. And every single prize was alcohol.

Game 1– Throw rocks at bottles and watch them explode. Win up a 6 pack of beer. Note — the ‘path’ to get to this carnival was located directly behind this tent.

Game 2– Throw darts at mini-pictures of fortune cards. Hit one on the money and you win up a 1/5 of Tequila.

Game 3– And probably the best things you’ve EVER heard. Throw softballs at a guys face wearing a hockey mask and insulting you. Win up to a six pack of beer. Note — this game apparently only happened when the ‘guy’ was sober enough to sit on his stool. Unfortunately I was in this town for a wedding and didn’t get to verify this first hand. I did see his tent, but never the masked, well, I’ll call him a hero. Some people are dubious that he exists. I choose not to let this be an option.

That’s it.

That’s the carnival.

Sound like fun to you? Because it was the BEST carnival ever. The satisfaction of smashing bottles of beer to win more beer and leave a fair with a 12-pack and tequila? ENDLESS.

And did I mention the one sign that the beer/liquor stand had hanging?

The context of this was hard to find, but it certainly was there for some reason. Oh, and they really did have a beer/liquor stand you could buy booze at if you were too drunk to hit a bottle 7 feet in front of your face with a huge rock.

Other notes on rural Mexico?

1- Cockfighting. Alive and well, apparently. Thursday night seems to be the traditional cockfighting night, but not year round. It’s like the NFL… but with armed cocks.

2- Pacifico. Hard to find in St. Louis… but not so much in Mexico. In fact, let me introduce you to a little buddy of mine. Called the 64 ouncer. When a 40 just won’t cut it.

3- Mexican Airports. Either these people have it all figured out and you’re incredibly safe or it’s a trucking free for all. I’m not sure I even know what this group of people is doing. Honestly. No idea, they were just kind of bunched up hanging out.

4- Bartering. Many other countries let you haggle right on the spot to make a sale. Much fairer way of doing commerce. Us Americans are all a bunch of not bartering wimps that need to shop Amazon for the best deal. But the satisfaction of a 10 minute price dance with a street vendor who you can not understand a word of other than numbers is gratifying.

So there you go. A little love note to Mexico courtesy of The CD. It was a brutal long weekend without me. But I was working hard for you guys...



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