PhillySucks

An Incomplete List of Why Philly Sucks


Listen, I think we can all agree that the only thing worth a shit that comes from Philadelphia is the FX show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”,  right?

Well, that’s not technically true, since the connection between the city and the show is pretty tangential at best. The show is shot in Los Angeles and merely uses the city as kind of a skank backdrop where a group of losers can do funny things while we all watch at home and thank God we weren’t born to parents humping in Pennsylvania.

On the eve of the first game of the 2011 NLDS, it got the CD staff thinking about some of the more odious things to come out of Philly. Here’s an incomplete list of 7…

1- Glenn Beck would do anything for money. Literally anything… except go to Philadelphia. LINK HERE

2- They festooned THIS GUY on us.

3- It’s a hell hole that people are fleeing from. How fast, you ask? Faster than Detroit. And exile to that place is used as a threat to terrorists at GITMO. LINK HERE

4- The Philly Cheese Snake. Do not click on this link if you’re at work. Or have a vivid imagination. It’s not only NOT safe for work, but it’s also exactly what I picture happening after every meth bender 90% of Philadelphians are currently on. LINK HERE (NSFW)

5- Men’s Heath rated the best and worst cities to live in for 2011. Coming in at #99? You guessed it. The city of brotherly love.  They also ranked very high on the most miserable cities as well! LINK HERE

6- They don’t even like themselves. LINK HERE

7- Even the ‘Philly Sucks’ Facebook fan page sucks. Seriously. LINK HERE

8- ???…

With that, a “Suck-It… Phil-ly” chant from St. Louis via NYC is in order. If we missed something big, please link to it in the comments below…

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