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Yesterday was kind of weird.

I was in Phoenix for work and we wrapped meetings at like 12p. My flight wasn’t until about 6:30 and it was sunny and about 82 degrees. So I decided to just kind of put in the earphones and sit on this big rock right by the hotel I was at and pretty much stare at the sun.

A girl approaches me and asks where I got the shirt I was wearing. It was a construction company shirt that one of my friend’s dad owns. Before I could even answer, she said “Aaron Hooks”?

“You don’t remember me do you?” Ummmm…

“Remember when you got blackmailed into that part in Grease for the high school musical?” (a story for another time) “I was a back-up singer.”

We’re now friends on Facebook. Ah, the power of Facebook.

Seriously, though- that tape from that musical is out there somewhere. And when I least expect it- it’s going to surface. And that’s going to be spectacularly awful. Not only because it’s embarrassing…. but because it really is an awful rendition of ‘Greased Lightning’ by an 110 pound dork.

But until that day.

Everyonceinawhile I like to write one paragraph movie reviews and call them The Movie Snot.

Why?

Because I really have a perverted fascination with scathing movie reviews. I love them. When bad buzz around a movie starts to build I can’t wait for the heavy hitting critics to really lower the boom. So in some small way, the reviews are a pale imitation of what I think an AO Scott or Dana Stevens might right. I do try to be fair, though.

A few people asked me what The Movie Snot thing was about. That’s what it’s about.

Movie Snot 1 – The Other Guys: Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, no way this isn’t awful right? Maybe my expectations we very, very low for this one- but I thought it was a damn funny movie. In fact, I even googled the comedies that came out in 2010 and this might actually be the best one of them all. Ferrell plays the straight cop great and some (not all) of the dialogue is actually inspired. Remember when Ferrell did that one movie where he was serious? It’s kind of like that, only he’s funny instead. I know people want to see him in Talladega Nights and Anchor Man. But the dude can do better. And he does here. I’m giving this one a solid B.

Movie Snot 2 – Easy A: First off, Emma Stone needs to be more famous. Second off, she needs to have more movies like this centered around her dialogue. She’s great. And perhaps some of the literary references (turning Sylvia Plath into a high school lunchroom punchline… not easy) make me more predisposed to liking this one- it was a quick 90 minute flick that was jaunty, funny and made no apologies for being for dorks with quirky senses of humor. Stone is the female Michael Cera- only she can vamp and is probably funnier. You may have passed this one up when you read the brief description (a HS story about sex based on The Scarlet Letter), but give it a shot. Fun move and a B+.

Lastly, some baseball?

I think we’ve got a story that no one else has.

And it involves Albert Pujols. Nothing bad, but interesting. I’m trying to work through some details with the source, but if I can get that locked and loaded you might have a nice Friday treat.

If not? Monday?

Or never?

We’ll see.

athooks

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