Hey guys! What did you do today? I went to work, came home, did some laundry, just HUNG OUT. In no way shape or form was I stressed out or excited or peeing down the inside of my leg. Nope, just a regular old normal night at home. No big deal. That’s just how I do things. Pretty simple. NO DRAMA.
Was there baseball played tonight? Oh really??? There was? What a strange happenstance! I had no idea. I was just so busy doing totally normal and boring things that it must have slipped my mind.
Say what? Carpenter pitched a complete game shut out? Had eleven strike outs? Well, by golly, that must have been something. Surely it didn’t mean anything this late in the season. GOOD FOR HIM!
And you say that the Cardinals won? Well, that is just the icing on the cake! What a terrific evening for all of those people who care about that completely meaningless baseball game! They must be so THRILLED!
Wait a minute, COME AGAIN? The Atlanta Braves also played baseball tonight? And they took a big huge spectacular extra innings DUMP?
Well, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO!!!!
HOLY SHIT!!!!! I wasn’t prepared for this. I have no champagne. The best I can do is dump a half empty container of cottage cheese over my balcony. BUT SWEET JESUS, I WILL DO IT! This is a very strange place to be after giving up on the Cards about a month ago. Boy, what an ASSHOLE I feel like. Nobody could have predicted this. All I want to do is hug my Dad and take a horse tranquilizer. The first, because it is appropriate. And the second, because there is no way I’m going to sleep over the next few days. We are back in the playoffs, people. And it is WONDERFUL.