cubpujols

Calling You Out: Hysterical Cardinals Fans

Last week I said I’d articulate my thoughts on the season so far, and I’m turning out a thesis up in here. But you don’t come here for that. Not on Friday. You come here for snark and links, so I’m going to set aside my Why I Love Mike “Matty” Moustakas PowerPoint presentation and deliver.

A chapter of my thesis explores a reason why this season’s under my skin. I hate to break it to you, but it’s you and your Albert Pujols contract hysteria. Yes, you.

When the season started, it was all Photoshop fun with Albert in a Cubs jersey. I think Cubs fans are sort of adorable with their wellspring of hope and whatnot, and none of that bothered me. But when Albert hit a snag and Cardinals fans started bitching and moaning, assuming he was toast for the season because the contract was in his coconut? In the words of teenagers texting and driving everywhere: STFU.

That behavior indicates you’ve never seen him play ball before: that you don’t recall that he performs best in challenging situations and you aren’t accounting for his injuries. (Does anyone remember that he started his season with a hammy strain?) It also indicates that you’re kind of a drama queen because how often does a proven talent like Albert fizzle out overnight, never to recover?

This post is a week too late, really. After Albert delivered back-to-back walk-off homers last weekend, there was a notable lull in concern about his contract status. But it’ll come back again. If he keeps up his sweet mashing, it’ll be handwringing about whether we can keep him. If he doesn’t, it’ll be handwringing about whether he’s broken. And either way, it’s kind of a buzzkill.

I’d appreciate it if you’d remember that this might be the last season we St. Louis kids can watch the greatest player in the game — and he still is — play live 81 nights a year. So maybe stop being such a dick and enjoy it.

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