You probably saw the earth-shattering trade last week where the Cubs acquired Matt Garza for a good majority of their farm system. And we could discuss how the deal takes them from a 75 win team to a 78 win team, but that’s too much “analysis” and “thinking” for us. We’ll just stick to shit-talking.
We did notice a couple stories about how the Chicago papers failed to even post the correct picture of Matt Garza in their papers:
Oops, that’s actually former Tampa RP Joaquin Benoit. He kind of looks relatively similar to Garza, but it’s not like they’re Ozzie and Jose Canseco, so I have no clue how they got confused.
We decided to dig into the archives and see if any local news outlets have made this same mistake over the years. It turns out they have. You’d expect shitty Google Image Searching from a Jay Mariotti-slurping, dog-just-died depressed baseball town like Chicago – but not St. Louis! We know the difference between Felipe Lopez and Abraham Nunez (guys, pretend like we do).
This first one was from just about a month ago. I can’t believe this totally slipped by us bloggers, let alone the Post-Dispatch:
Now that’s obviously Derek Bell, come on people! Seriously, how terrible is that? When was the last time Houston wore those jerseys? And isn’t that Luis Gonzalez, minus the 57 HR-power muscle mass?
Next we have the cover from early 2002, right after So Taguchi signed with the Cards:
Kobayashi?! Why would they think that was So Taguchi? Was he known for eating hot dogs in the field during ballgames? Who was manning the paper that day? That’s 0% effort to get anything right. ZERO.
And finally, we go back 30 years to one of the key trades that made Whiteyball a success. The infamous Willie McGee for Bob Sykes deal. Here’s how it was reported the next day:
Okay, were people furious about dealing away Bob Sykes back then? Also, it looks like they used a Getty Images photo and didn’t actually purchase it.
Wait…that’s Grandmaster Flash on the turntables, isn’t it? Are you shitting me Post-Dispatch? How would that happen? Why would that happen?
Even if you’re scrambling to find a photo of Willie McGee (and I’d imagine it was hard as fuck back then), why not put in a pic of Bob Sykes? I have no clue what Sykes looked like, but seeing how this is 1981 – let me guess: probably chubby, scary face, beard, wild hair, 50/50 shot of wearing big prescription glasses, tight pants.
Oh what do you know – other than the glasses, I’m pretty much dead on.
So even though the PD makes their share of mistakes, the lesson here is to forget what you saw today, and continue to laugh at the fact that anyone in Chicago with a goatee and a baseball glove could legitimately pass for Matt Garza right now.