Uh…guys? So…haha, WHAT? Remember when we didn’t care about baseball anymore? Good grief, those were glorious days. It was like a small slice of paradise compared to the anxiety attack I’m suffering through AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
I mean, I know it sounds like I’m complaining. And I AM. But, never in a million years did I think there would be a scenario in which the Cardinals would taste the playoffs. And you know what? There is still a very real chance that they won’t.
BUT GOOD HOLY GOD, WE ARE SO CLOSE!!!
I want to throw up and kiss a baby and run over a kitten with a lawnmower all at the same time.
All I could do tonight was watch my phone and alternately swear profusely and squeal in delight. I must have looked like a complete schizophrenic.
And I do not care in the slightest.
Surrounded by chatter about Tony LaRussa’s impending employment on the South Side, all I could do was be a totally uninterested psychopath. You know what? They can have him! Just as soon as the Cardinals WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!
Okay, I’m obviously getting ahead of myself, but I cannot be alone in feeling this way. It’s been awhile since this team inspired anything more than a mild fart and a shrug of the shoulders. Heck, I was introduced at a wedding this past weekend as a die-hard Cards fan. And at that moment, I hadn’t any clue about the ridiculous ending to that Saturday game against the Chicago Marmols. I was simply THAT checked out.
WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE?
I guess my point is that I’ll be in the fetal position for the next twenty-four hours. And regardless of what happens tomorrow night, I hope someone sends backup. By which I mean, alcoholic beverages and fireworks. Because I’m either celebrating like hell or setting my building on fire. It could go either way. And if we end up in a playoff with the Braves? I might literally choke to death on my own spit. One way or another, I think we can all agree that this is going to be really special.