confused

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me…


Uh…guys?  So…haha, WHAT?  Remember when we didn’t care about baseball anymore?  Good grief, those were glorious days.  It was like a small slice of paradise compared to the anxiety attack I’m suffering through AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

I mean, I know it sounds like I’m complaining.  And I AM.  But, never in a million years did I think there would be a scenario in which the Cardinals would taste the playoffs.  And you know what?  There is still a very real chance that they won’t.

BUT GOOD HOLY GOD, WE ARE SO CLOSE!!!

I want to throw up and kiss a baby and run over a kitten with a lawnmower all at the same time.

All I could do tonight was watch my phone and alternately swear profusely and squeal in delight.  I must have looked like a complete schizophrenic.

And I do not care in the slightest.

Surrounded by chatter about Tony LaRussa’s impending employment on the South Side, all I could do was be a totally uninterested psychopath.  You know what?  They can have him!  Just as soon as the Cardinals WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!

Okay, I’m obviously getting ahead of myself, but I cannot be alone in feeling this way.  It’s been awhile since this team inspired anything more than a mild fart and a shrug of the shoulders.  Heck, I was introduced at a wedding this past weekend as a die-hard Cards fan.  And at that moment, I hadn’t any clue about the ridiculous ending to that Saturday game against the Chicago Marmols.  I was simply THAT checked out.

WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE?

I guess my point is that I’ll be in the fetal position for the next twenty-four hours.  And regardless of what happens tomorrow night, I hope someone sends backup.  By which I mean, alcoholic beverages and fireworks.  Because I’m either celebrating like hell or setting my building on fire.  It could go either way.  And if we end up in a playoff with the Braves?  I might literally choke to death on my own spit.  One way or another, I think we can all agree that this is going to be really special.

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