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Bryce Harper & The Friday Links

Sorry you guys. 

I know the content has been a little light this week, but it so happens the new site make-over and a busy week of real life have conspired to making posting crap to this crap a real crapper.

Howevaaaaah, we’re back today with the Friday Links and little Bryce Harper.

That’s right. Bryce is in town to totally crush some Fitz’s rootbeer and try to make out with your sister. And when he does (and he will) you’re going to have to live with the fact that this guy is basically the 2012 version of Rick Ankiel. You know, after a proper media sanitization.

Rick The Sick, he drinks. Harper doesn’t. Rick The Stick, he fucks. Harper doesn’t. Rick The Stick, is a bad, bad boy. Harper isn’t.

So basically, cheering for Bryce Harper is like cheering for the Parents Television Council. They’ve done this to America. They’ve made it this way. See that face up there? That’s the most controversial thing he’s done all year. Frozen in time for all of us to witness. Because nothing this kid does will ever not be witnessed, not be co-branded and not not be sold by Scott Boras.

I actually like Bryce Harper. He seems like a really promising player. And at only 19, he’s got a long career ahead of him. But the kid blew one kiss and it was like he burnt down a village of Peace Corps volunteer huts. He’s the next in a line of clean, pure superstars.

He’s making sport better and he’s making sport boring.

Here’s to hoping Mr. Harper develops a rotten streak. And if not off the field, at least on it. The Mormon bad boy. The Anti-Tebow. It’s much more fun for everyone.

Now, the Friday Links…

+ Cat blocked. LINK HERE

+ The saddest thing you'll see today. LINK HERE

+ My people need me. LINK HERE

+ Please use this plumbing company. LINK HERE

+ Not today, dog. LINK HERE

+ Do not shred babies. LINK HERE

That's it. That's the week. I'm having a big backyard BBQ all this weekend called Taste of St. Louis, so when you're pissing in the alley, thanks in advance. No really, it's just what I wanted.

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