scrappysquirrel

Here’s the V-Day Card Your Grandma is Sending You


Hey, Happy Valentine’s Day, gang. We’re grateful that today’s the one day a year you’re in too good of a mood to send us hate mail. I’m sure Hooks would have some kind words to say if he liked any of you. Maybe next year.

No, you know we CHOO-CHOO-CHOOSE YOU! Now look at this below, then go spend the day with someone special – whether that includes Kate Upton in the SI Swimsuit Issue is your business.

While perusing the Valentine’s Day cards yesterday, I came across one that will make all old ladies’ heads explode when they see it (or more likely: saw it 20 days ago, when they did their Valentine’s Day shopping).


Jesus, how many different fonts is that? Wait a second –

SCRAPPY

THE…

SQUIRREL???

HOOOOLLLLYYY SHIIIIITT, that’s gold to grandmas who love the Cardinals. Absolute gold.

I’m shocked these weren’t sold out. I didn’t bother to check the back to see who made these, but they’re going to poop their pants (much like the purchasers of said card) in excitement when they see how much the St. Louis market boosted their sales figures.

And can you believe we’re bypassing an always-hilarious “Juggling Nuts” line? Now that’s a first. Only because we’re so romantic.

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