In 2004 I was working full time at a landscaping company and then hosting a radio show from 4p to 7p on the local ESPN Radio affiliate in Knoxville TN.
My partner on the show was a huge Astros fan. And I'll never forget sitting in the studio well after the (terrible) show had ended, watching Game 6 of the NLCS between the Cards and 'Stros. We had tickets to Game 7 and would be leaving the station and heading straight to STL if the Cards won.
So we were off. And my buddy, although shamed to admit it, was giddy. The Cardinals hadn't been to a World Series in forever (17 years) and the Astros, well the Astros had never been.
Worse, at least for me, was that Jeff Suppan was getting the nod in Game 7. His opponent? The Rocket. Roger Clemens. In the midst of his 7th Cy Young season. Looking to become THE legend in Houston and take them to baseball's holy land.
I still feel bad for my buddy. He was one of MAYBE 5 people wearing Astros gear in Old Busch Stadium that night. Walking out of the gates, I still remember 2 separate news crews approaching him to get a reaction shot.
Man, that had to be the worst.
I bring this moment up, because the Astros are in town and because the Astros are terrible.
Clemens was 41 (!) in 2004. Nearly 10 years later, people are clamoring for him to come back and make a start? I didn't get it. Sure, I saw Houston's record and would admit that a gimmick for the die-hards that locked into season tickets back in the spring and can't even give them away now would be fair.
After watching two nights of the Astros, bring on the Clemens.
Not only could Astros fans get a bar argument chip (You think your team's bad? Mine hired a 51 year old… 5 years after he retired!), but we'd get to see Clemens, perhaps, take one last final beating from the Cardinals, who travel to Houston next week.
Win and win.
The Astros are bad. Like real bad. Like so bad that when we complain about the Cardinals, it's like complaining that the caviar at this cocktail party is way to fucking twangy to be served on rye mini toasts.
Bring back The Rocket. A failure to launch would be just the tonic everyone needs in Houston.