Man, oh man, oh man, they’ve really just gone and done it now, haven’t they? Hasn’t anyone told the Pittsburgh Pirates about what happens when Yadier Molina feels the slightest bit disrespected or even just SORT OF pissed off???
NO ONE??? Really?
That seems unfair, but I’m not here to complain. Because if history has anything to say about it, (and if his brain stem reattachment surgery goes as planned), Mr. Molina is going to be fit to be tied after that little encounter at home plate this evening.
By which I mean, he is going to PHYSICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE AND ALSO EAT THEIR CHILDREN AND MAYBE EVEN STAB THEM IN THE FACE WITH A NAIL GUN OR RUN OVER THEM WITH A FOOD TRUCK THAT HAS NOTHING IN IT BUT DEEP FRIED FIREWORKS AND THE DEAD BODY OF GUY FIERI AND MAYBE ALSO SAMMY SOSA!!!!!
This is serious, you guys. An angry Molina has historically been a VERY productive Molina. He goes from gentle giant to raging hulk in a matter of seconds and it’s really only a matter of time until he unleashes the fury.
And I CANNOT WAIT!!!!
Maybe it’s the years of experience. Maybe it’s the neck tattoos. Or maybe it’s just a general toughness that I will obviously never achieve. (I ran out of staples today and it was completely traumatizing.)
No matter how you slice it, this guy thrives on adversity. And coming into the home stretch? I say THANK YOU to Josh Harrison for having the balls to light a fire under some already FLAMING hot balls. (GUH. I took the balls thing too far, my apologies.)
I only hope that once he regains feeling in his legs (seriously, that was a TERRIFYING collision!) that he remembers how badly he likes throwing out baserunners and hitting homeruns. Ultimately, I think Angry Yadi is my favorite Yadi.
(Plus we women-folk think he’s sexy and stuff, so I’m pretty sure he’ll call me after this and we’ll get married.)