Holy crap, you guys. The Cardinals are in the playoffs.
It’s so awesome yet terrible yet the best thing ever yet I might suffocate someone please give me a glass of water I hate life and oh my god MY LIVER!!!
You guys know what I’m talking about.
It’s like being on a rollercoaster on which you are so miserable that all you can think about is holding in your vomit. It isn’t until the ride is over that you realize how much fun you were actually having.
I know it makes ZERO sense, but this is honestly the most articulate way I can describe the past two games. It’s been a delightful hell beast of barf inducing euphoria.
The Cardinals are one win away from advancing and for that I am ELATED. But DAMMIT, this is stressful! And I realize that there are fans ALL OVER THE PLACE that would murder their first born children and feed them to coyotes in order to feel this exact pain and anxiety. (HI, CUBS FANS!) And I’m really not trying to complain or brag.
HOWEVER, these games have done strange things to my behavior. I spent Friday afternoon sitting cross legged on a conference table at my office wearing someone else’s necktie while drinking white wine through a twisty straw.
I am currently wearing an unwashed David Freese T-shirt that I wore for both Monday’s and yesterday’s game despite the understandable scorn of my co-workers. I started earnestly stalking my cousin’s girlfriend earlier in the week, as I became convinced she was a good luck charm.
I AM NOT WELL.
In fact, this is all bringing back a lot of memories. I’ve begun a running dialogue with several friends that I haven’t really spoken to since the World Series run last year. And wouldn’t you know it, we have picked right back up where we left off!
JUST AGONIZING AND MOANING ABOUT EVERYTHING.
You’d honestly think we were all had food poisoning or were dying from some sort of bird flu/malaria hybrid. It’s just so over the top, yet it’s COMPULSIVE. I’ve turned into a complete drama queen AND I REGRET NOTHING.
The greater point is that we, as Cardinal fans, have postseason baseball to watch in October. This was by no means a given and it should be treated like the gift that it really is. Therefore, we (by which I mean, ME) really need to pull it together. Someone please call my therapist.
I hope she gets paid overtime.