The HassleBROS took a trip to Germany to try for a game of 'hide the bratwurst', but ended up getting their kraut soured when Bryden thew up the deuces and headed back to 'Merica.
Group dating is for the Euros, I suppose.
But it brought our
ice queen Bachelorette to almost shed a tear. She didn't, though. And was able to make it to the 2 on 1 showdown between a prosecutor who casually mentions "killing" his competition and a Christian father who skipped out on church during Easter and his child's life all the other days.
(Unless Michael is right. But again, he's a prosecutor that has "killing" as a back-pocket metaphor.)
I guess we're burying the lede. This was the episode that introduced many of us to the Hot Tug. The boat, that's a hot tub, that's powered by a fire.
Love is a many thing; a Hot Tug is one of them. You're the one for me Hot Tug.
But before we can propose to that wonderful, wonderful testament to human innovation, we must first see grown men taddle on each other for not being in the house for the 'right reasons'. They're itchin' to start snitchin'.
7:03 – Beers. On grade school desks.
7:05 – Dez on Drew: "He's so romantic and passionate… about romance". That might inadvertently be the best one sentence description of The Bachelor series of all time.
7:15 – Looks like Drew is going full alligator roll on Dez in the ally.
7:18 – Snitches get stitches. (Side: I just YouTube'd this phrase to see what came up and was not disappointed. At all.)
7:26 – Brooks refers to soccer as 'football'. That makes Messi sad.
CUT: Juan Pablo, James, Kasey.
NEXT WEEK: Choppers, horses, boats, sleds, beaches, picnics, L-bombs, kissing, stingrays, geysers, completion, uncontrolled things, tears, dock crying, Harrison, worst day of Brooks' life, shocked, lots of limos pulling away, more crying.