Last week Dez… hmmm… you know what… what the hell did happen last week?
*Checks last blog*
Oh that's right. Nothing. Nothing happened. Then nothing happened some more. In fact, I believe that Samuel Beckett wasn't quoted so much as he was predicting the future when he said "Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness."
At least America is revolting! Take a look at the ratings from last week.
Actually, ABC won the night. By a pretty wide margin. Which means that we're going to be stuck with one of these guys you're watching tonight as the next Bachelor.
And we'll watch.
But it doesn't mean we have to like it.
It's hometown date week. The bros are going to take Dez back to their old stompin' grounds to see the beginnings of their beings. They may or may not be headed to 4 flour and yeast factories. You know, plain white bread. Bland. Kind of like these guys?
7:03 – Anything worse than hearing about people's dreams? Maybe hearing about someone's fantasy football team, but that's about it. Don't do this to people.
7:06 – Mix your own snow cone truck? Are we going to act like we had this when we were kids? Because I think we would have lost our shit times 1000 if a snow cone truck where you can mix your own cone rolled up. No wonder kids are such punks now.
7:16 – Well, hello Carly.
7:18 – You ever picture how you'd be in some of these situations? I mean, this girl is in a house full of strangers, followed by a camera crew, getting serenaded with a song about, well, herself. I'd be really bad with all of that.
7:19 – Now she gets a ring? Is the show over? Please?
7:20 – Drew goes on a hometown date.
7:40 – Drew's hometown date ends. He drops his first L-Bomb.
7:49 – Chris is blown away that a women could have athletic talent. He seems genuinely tickled that Dez can catch, throw and hit a baseball. It's 2013.
8:00 – So WHAT the WHAT is going on in this basement? I'm not even joking – what was that balloon in the nose business? What does that do? I Google'd it and still can't figure it out.
8:02 – Mom's got so much salt, they call her 'The Shaker'. The two words not allowed on The Bachelorette are 'Real' and 'World'.