Okay, I know that I've been absent the last few days. And I'm sincerely sorry, as I realize that no one has checked the mail recently and we may very well have gotten some pretty good coupons to Best Buy and maybe even Target.
I've selfishly been up wandering around glaciers and trying not to get gored by a moose and just generally abandoning you in your time of need.
However, I want you to know that I'm still here for you on a case by case basis.
Once the jet lag wears off and I stop sweating out bison meat, I'm all yours again. I promise!!!
I mean, I feel like you and the team have really missed me. You weren't able to grab game three (or five, but that's totally not your fault, baby, and we will talk about that another time), and for that, I am MISERABLE.
I blame no one but myself!
It's touching in a way, but I certainly hope it's not permanent. You guys are going to have to stand on your own at some point. If nothing else, I think I've taught you all a valuable lesson.
Basically, I CAN'T DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN!!!!
You just have to tell our guys to go out there and beat up on Mr. "All Go No Quit" Kershaw.
I can't imagine that being a problem. What a softie, that one!
NO BIG DEAL DONE-ZO IT'S IN THE BOOKS LET'S PACK IT UP AND GET ON WITH IT BECAUSE WHY NOT WHO ARE WE KIDDING DECIDING GAMES ARE TERRIFYING AND LET'S AVOID THAT SHIT OH DEAR GOD.
You are my everlasting light and I think we have what it takes to win a World Series together AS A COUPLE. Please float that idea around the clubhouse and see where it takes you. I bet Yadi is on board, as he's been making eyes at me since June.
(FYI…he has one too many neck tattoos for my taste, but my sister is SUPER ON BOARD. Double date???)
Love always and forever,