Inside The Locker

Inside The Locker: Episode 1

<In the Cardinals locker room> 

Matheny: Sooooo, guys. Haha. We have these big long sticks of wood. Maybe try and use them???

<Snickering in the background>

Matheny: You guys, seriously. Try to be professional. We have to win some games, here. Like, it's shit or get off the pot time.

<LOTS of snickering>

Matheny: We need to catapult  baseballs into the stratosphere. Or alternately, into places that infielders, outfielders can't catch 'em! Are there any questions?

Kozma: Uh…what on earth are you talking about? WE GET STICKS??? What do we use those for???

Holliday: I'm kind of busy, I've been refinancing my mortgage. And my anti-aging therapy is going preeeetyy good.

Craig: SERIOUSLY? Don't blame me for this garbage.

Jay: I HAVE NEW SHOES!!!

Beltran: Do I seriously have to explain this? I'M SO BORED.

Freese: I went on a roller coaster today and it was awesome!

Adams: Cheeseburgers are the best, but have you had one with DOUBLE CHEESE???

Wainwright: I'm so full of self loathing that I've been reading Hunter S. Thompson. THAT GUY.

Mujica: HAHA YOU GUYS JUST TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE BUT WOOHOO THIS IS A GODDAMN TRAIN WRECK!

Carpenter: UHHHH…maybe we should think about the fact that we are still contenders and try to win a game or two? We are still pretty good!

Matheny: Great talk! Let's bunt three times tomorrow and all will be good in this world.

Molina: I want to laser fight you all to the death.

FIN.

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