It wasn't meant to be last week.
No, not the Cards Diaspora Live Blog… Clare and that super exotic food called calamari. Ah, but before you mount your high horse, maybe, just maybe, Clare is a fan of NPR. As such, she's heard the This American Life episode that explores if calamari is actually pig anus.
Well, you might be the one we should be judging. Because it's a possibility that that last app you ordered was 'bung'. Go ahead, listen to the whole episode and make up your own mind. But let's not pillory Clare for protesting a group food cheer before knowing all the facts.
Oh, and Psy? Was he busy?
Apologies for missing a post. But if we're going to miss an episode, it appears we picked the right one. Effort effort will be made to never let it happen again.
Tonight, Juan Pablo takes his harem to Vietnam. Local currency? The Dong.
Coincidence? Probably not.
7:04 - I have a theory. Renee isn't actually a contestant. She's a good friend of Juan Pablo sent to soak up all the drama in the house. When the cut goes from 4 to 3, she doesn't get a rose – BUT WAIT – it doesn't matter, because she's about to spill her guts to JP. I'd set the line at 10 to 1 on this. Let's see if she gets a kiss.
7:13 – Note to self, do not order the mango.
7:28 – I'm moving the line to 7 to 1 now. Lots of opportunities for that first kiss. All of them passed. And then some plausible deniability about 'her having a son' to put a bow on a very plutonic date? I'm not buying it. Rene is THE MOLE!
7:32 – Bumper boats in Vietnam suck.
7:36 – On the very off-chance that you actually waned to learn something tonight, the Vietnamese 'hats' that everyone keeps referencing are called Non La. The more you know.
7:46 – Clare is pretty much pwning this group date.
7:48 – Serious question: is seeing someone as a "panda in a room full of brown bears" a colloquial expression? I Google'd it and couldn't find anything. I don't even know what it's supposed to mean. Anyone?
7:59 - And that, kids, is a currency exchange. HIYO!
8:06 – Were you curious about US & Vietnam relations? Formal relations officially started in 1995 under President Clinton and have grown more friendly in the years since. There is a bilateral trade agreement between the countries as well as textile and aviation agreements. A recent 2002 poll found that over 70% of Vietnamese view Americans favorably.
8:10 – Repelling repelling from Nikki, frankly.
8:33 – Welp. I didn't say it was a good theory. Renee gets her moment. And it appears to have evoked buyers remorse from Juan Pablo on his ocean romp.
8:36 – YOU RUINED THAT CHILD, CLARE. YOU SEX CRAZED SEA MONSTER.
8:45 – Why didn't he say no? Lady, I don't know much in this life. But when a girl asks you to go swim in the ocean at 4 o'clock in the morning, you go swim in the ocean.
CUT – Danielle, Kelly, Alli
NEXT WEEK – Speed boating, waterfall kissing, ocean makeout fallout, unclear women, bad process, tears, emotional highs and lows.