The most under-appreciated woman on the face of the Earth. Your everything. The reason you are who you are.
Her big day is coming up in less than two weeks, but you haven’t done jack to prepare. You were just going to head down to Macy’s or even – gasp – CVS to show her just how much she means to you, weren’t you?
The Cardinals have a better idea. They want your mom to be fed. To eat like the queen she is.
Because they totally, pinky-swear, will have all of last night’s party mopped up and in the dumpster by the time you get there after church. Any errant tank tops or dip cups will have been newly accumulated from the time the doors swing open.
Knock mom over with a feather. You’re going to Ballpark Village for brunch. Reservations are being accepted now.