On The Fourth Day of Cardinal Crapmas

My simple instructions today – please don’t buy this:Please please please don’t buy a fucking muscle magnet for your car. Buy a Hummer to show you’re a badass. Buy a F-350…no, F-650 for all I care. But not this. We’re all big enough hoosiers, we don’t need to make it any more obvious. If you […]


The Third Day of Cardinal Crapmas

I didn’t think we had readers, but someone allegedly passed this along to Hooks the other day via email. It’s an eBay listing for a “modified” Pujols jersey: I think this is the first time we’ve had a Cardinal crapmas entry in which something was taken from the crap pile and put to good use. […]


The Second Day of Cardinal Crapmas

You knew this feature wouldn’t wait too long to touch on Pujols and Rally Squirrel-related items. We’ll save Albert for tomorrow because everyone always likes a good bumper sticker typo:Whoops. At least the Cardinals made the playoffs in 2001, so you won’t look completely stupid with this on your car – just totally stupid. The […]


The Twelve Days of Cardinal Crapmas (Day 1)

MLB just won’t stop putting out crappy products. We really thought this was the year! Trust us, we would love to be lazy and not bring you another twelve days of Cardinal Crapmas items, but obviously they gave us no choice. With so much to talk about since the season ended, we’re not just doing […]


Truth in Advertising: Ryan Braun Edition

In MLB’s Holiday Catalog, Nike gives a little inside scoop on what they knew about Ryan Braun before the rest of us: “Between a body that defies the odds…” Yup, I’d say so. 


Albert’s Song – A Year Later

No, unfortunately we don’t have plans for Albert Week, Part II. A random rumor pops up every couple days, so I’ve got a feeling we’ll have enough to talk about for a while. But today we want to take you back to that historic morning, one year ago, when Albert’s Song took low-level Cardinal blogs […]


An Easy Way to Win a Trip to Spring Training

Despite years of evidence to the contrary, your pals at the CD are actually not bad people. We’ve had some huge DVD giveaways lately, and just last night I threw some bread out for the neighborhood birds to snack on. It was a tad moldy, but there’s no way the jerks at Viva El Birdos […]

The Seductive Sounds of Jon Hamm Make You Buy DVDs

You spent a crapload of money on beer and food throughout October. You spent a metric crapload on World Series tickets. You…no…you didn’t buy a Rally Squirrel shirt, did you?? Your bank account is fed up with the abuse; remember when it had a couple more columns? You even pushed back your meeting with your […]


The World Series Newspaper Cover Round-Up

How do the newspapers look a day after the World Series? We did a half-assed internet search and found these: St. Louis Post-Dispatch Columbia Daily TribuneBelleville News-DemocratDallas Morning NewsTengen Sports News (I don’t know about you, but this is my favorite paper)


The CD Rounds Up to Call Ourselves Average

Yesterday, Hooks shared an email from a reader (apparently “ex-reader” now) who criticized us for bashing the Cardinals when they were sucking, and that we can’t be true fans now that they are winning. I’m not supposed to rip the guy apart too much because times are good, and we shouldn’t be focused on little […]


They Aren’t Done Punching You in the Balls and the Friday Links

You won’t believe this shit. Well, maybe you will, because you know the 2011 St. Louis Cardinals love pulling the rug out from under our feet over and over. And over. And over. (I’m talking about the season now.) Flashback to yesterday afternoon – Hooks is stuck in DC, presumably banging chicks with Ankiel, and […]


Recovering From Cardinals Depression: A Pamphlet

I saw my doctor this morning and he gave me this pamphlet to get through the rest of the season. There are a lot of terrific tips included; it really makes you sit down and think. The good news is that I’m already cured! Hope it helps you too:

Joe Buck Appears – and Sings – On Late Night

Last night, a local fella named Joe Buck made an appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  He was probably there to plug Wine Wednesday at J.Bucks, but I think they only got around to talking about stupid football and the stupid MLB playoffs. Actually, Joe touched on a number interesting topics, or as interesting […]


Get Over Another Frustrating Loss by Laughing at the Cubs

You’d think the dramatic game on Tuesday would have lit a fire under the Cardinals’ asses.  Nope, not this team.  The only fire I saw on Wednesday was on the mound; Edwin Jackson kindly made enough s’mores for all the fat slobs in Miller Park (Cardinal fans included). As the Redbirds move on from a […]


Albert Interviewed on MLB Network Tonight

In general, Albert Pujols gives a pretty lame interview, but he does tend to divulge more info to the national media than the local guys. You know, because there’s no way for the average fan to look up and see how he acts when ESPN or 60 Minutes cameras aren’t on him. Check out MLB […]