Nobody Likes Yadi When He’s Angry (Except Us, Sillies!)

Oh, boy. Man, oh man, oh man, they’ve really just gone and done it now, haven’t they?  Hasn’t anyone told the Pittsburgh Pirates about what happens when Yadier Molina feels the slightest bit disrespected or even just SORT OF pissed off??? NO ONE??? Really? That seems unfair, but I’m not here to complain. Because if […]


Stuff That Sucks: Volume VI

I‘m just annoyed in general, so let’s get this started. 1. The Cincinnati Reds.  You know, I think I dislike these assholes more than the Cubs right now.  I didn’t know it was possible, but my burning inferno of hatred has officially crossed state lines.  They just will NOT LOSE!!!  And it’s infuriating!!!  I cannot get […]


Two Steps Forward, One Step Back?

So, do you guys remember a couple of weeks ago when I became a changed woman and was all well behaved and shit?  AHEM…welllllll, I experienced a bit of a setback over the weekend. You see, I was involved in a bachelorette party that took its brood of babes to a lake town in Michigan.  […]


Addison Street is My Everest

You guys, I’m in a wedding coming up soon. And like anyone that holds that exceptional honor and responsibility, I know that there are things that must be done and errands that must be run.  (I did not mean to rhyme just there. And the fact that I did makes me hate myself.)  So, because […]


Being a Great Influence is Great

Man, oh man, was this past weekend awesome, or what?  Can you guys believe those crazy Redbirds were able to just go out and DOMINATE the Brewers like that?  WHO KNEW THEY HAD IT IN THEM???  (Answer:  EVERYONE.) Anyhow, completing a sweep is always fantastic, but this weekend was particularly special to me.  And it’s […]

See You In St. Louis

You guys, I’m waaay too excited to sleep. I’m leaving the Windy City tomorrow, taking the I-55 Hellway south and headed to the promised land. OFF TO ST. LOUIS I GO, BITCHES!!!!  Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Chicago and think it’s the best city on the planet.  (This is, of course, based on my relatively […]


Bonus Bachelorette Commentary!

You guys, I have something to confess.  And with the Cardinals being ZERO fun to talk about and this site basically being a Bachelorette clearing house anyway, this seems like the appropriate time to bring it up. (I can only offer my sincere apologies to the people who come here for baseball insight.  However, the two […]


Splish Splash!!!

I went to the Cubs game today.  Did they win?  WHO CARES????   I nearly drowned.  And I might also have contracted any one of many swamp diseases. RAIN DELAY!!!! I mean, SERIOUSLY.  Have you ever seen anything like this?  It was like a hot tub in the concourse, except we were all terrified instead of […]


Jason Motte Hates Your Dad

No time for pleasantries, people. We have a code red, DEFCON 3 situation on our hands and his name is Jason Motte. You guys, what is the DEAL with this asshole? I mean, no offense to the Kansas City Royals or all six of their fans, but this game today was simply embarrassing. It’s Father’s […]


Roses are Red, Waino is AWESOME

Dear Adam, I adore you and it’s beyond the scope of my vocabulary to express how ELATED I was to see that you pitched well tonight. What a terrific job you did throwing baseballs!  It’s really quite something how you tossed a complete game shutout.  That doesn’t happen SUPER often, and it’s even more kickass […]


GAHHHH!!!! My Eyes!!!!

YOU GUYS!!!  What in the world is even going ON right now???  I can’t help but panic, as it’s traditionally what I do every single time the Cardinals lose to the Cubs.  But COME ON!  CLEARLY there is something off in the universe when this happens with any sort of regularity.  Seriously?  Those guys?  This […]



There is no time for pleasantries, my long lost friends. I was at that game tonight and have to do some venting before my eyeballs fall out of my head and my brain eats itself and destroys major organs that I might need later.  WHAT WAS THAT???? It is never a fun thing to watch […]


Game One: Yes, Please!!!

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS.  It is RAINING LIKE CRAZY in Chicago.  I mean, this is intense.  Evidently, Mother Nature wants my building to blow over?  I don’t pretend to understand that woman, but she could relax for one goddamn minute and it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.  I mean, I nearly lost a […]


Happy Flight: NLCS Game Two Edition

(Enter St. Louis Cardinals charter flight, 12:34 AM CDT.  Tuesday, October 11, 2011) Matt Holliday:  Sooooo…did anyone bring any Dramamine?  I hear we’ve got rough skies en route to St. Louis. Yadier Molina:  Seriously?  I’m pretty sure that’s not a real thing.  No one has said that. Holliday:  I just don’t want my “luggage to […]